February 2nd, 2024

Facing the Chill: Strategies for Breaking Your Marriages Groundhog Day Loop

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Author: Kathryn E. Deckert

A Groundhog in front of clocks

After years of marriage, it is not uncommon to feel like you are stuck in a Groundhog Day experience in your relationship. Communication has broken down. You feel disconnected from one another. You are living separate lives in the same home. There is no more intimacy in the marriage. You no longer have the same goals or enjoy the same activities. The only thing you have in common anymore is your children.

Notwithstanding the fact that you may realize that this is not the marriage you want or envisioned for yourselves, it can be hard to decide whether to stay or go. In such a situation, there are steps you can take to explore your options and make this very challenging decision.


First, exploring counseling, either individual or marriage counseling, can be helpful. Individual counseling can help you reflect on your current situation and identify next steps that will best serve your future. Marriage counseling provides an avenue for you and your spouse to work on communication in the relationship and identify issues in the marriage in a safe space with the assistance of a professional.

Speak with an attorney

Second, it is important to find out your legal rights and obligations before deciding whether it makes sense to continue in the marriage or pursue a divorce.  Consulting with a domestic attorney can provide you of an overview of the divorce process and what to expect. You can also discuss alternative dispute resolution options, such as mediation, along with other professionals that may be able to provide you with additional assistance in evaluating your next steps.

Build a support system and avoid venting on social media

Sharing your marital problems or expressing negative sentiments about your spouse on social media can have legal and emotional consequences. Instead, look to trusted family and friends, or find a local support group, who can understand what you are going through and provide emotional support and practical advice.

While there may be common issues in marriages, every marriage is unique. Therefore, it is important for you to understand all of your options based on your particular situation when deciding what is best for you and your family and how to best break the Groundhog Day cycle.